The Blues- I Don't Mean Pantone...

I just sat here for 5 whole minutes trying to find a cute way to tie "The Blues" and "Something old/new/borrowed/blue" together because this week has been the first time that making plans feels like a chore. Nothing I came up with made me feel any better which obviously means there isn't a cute way to do it. Even before we got engaged my wedding motto was "If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong." I'm clearly doing something wrong this week because it hasn't been any fun at all. I know when I get like this I have to take a little step back and wait for it to feel dreamy again.

Photo courtesy of evcilikhayati.wordpress.com

I have looked forward to the process of planning this wedding for a really long time. We were together for 8 years before our engagement and I knew I wanted to marry him after the first one. I promised myself when we finally decided to do it that I would ENJOY it. I wouldn't fret about small details and I wouldn't worry about the things that won't matter after 5 years of our marriage. So far this has worked great. This week though, work has been taxing and I feel like the housework is closing in around me which makes it nearly impossible for me to focus on anything else. This week I just can't muster excitement that usually comes so easily. Usually wedding planning makes me feel productive and awesome but this week I feel stuck.

I've been trying to come up with a good plan for our rehearsal dinner. I've had a few ideas I really liked but no one seems to be calling me back after I leave messages and that's pretty frustrating. I have also decided to do the invitations myself and I have some ideas there but I'm trying not to get carried away with making them so complicated that I'm setting myself up for failure. I know my limits and I need to make sure I stay within them.

The dress is coming along great and I'll be posting more details about that soon but in the mean time I'm trying to pull myself out of this hole I've found myself in. I've been having some back pain that I'm associating with my new exercise routine and that makes it harder to stick to and I haven't been able to find a good mood. Its weeks like this I wished my friends were closer. All the awesome girls in my life that could help pull me out seem so far away. This is not their fault as Boston, Hawaii, Georgia, Alaska, Greenville, and even Bangor and Portland are not moving any closer to Skowhegan anytime soon. It is amazing what I believe could be solved over a cup of coffee with any one of the girls I miss so much on a regular basis. It is weeks like this I'm jealous of all those brides who conned 8 girls to be in their wedding party and assume it is their right to make their bridal problem the whole bridal party's problem. To be fair, I've never been a bridesmaid under a Bridezilla like that but weeks like this I kinda get it.

I know this week is going to pass and I'll eventually get the invitations and the rehearsal dinner worked out and the day itself will be worth 100 weeks of the blues. Until then I'll just keep wishing I had 3 weeks of paid vacation time I could take in a row to clean my house top to bottom, go on long walks with the dog, peruse Pinterest for hours, and go on coffee dates with all the friends I'm missing. I'll keep wishing that money was no object to happiness and that I could keep this job I love but only have to come in a few hours a week and have it pay all my bills. I'll keep wishing for time to be my bitch.

I'm sure every bride goes through this in some way or another.. I mean Bridezillas don't birth themselves.... I just have to take a deep breath, look ahead to the weekend, and remember that when you're doing it wrong just stop and when you start again there is a whole new potential for everything to start going right again... or at least potential for someone to answer my damn emails.

<3 The Future Mrs. Luce
Week 5