The last time I wrote two weeks ago things were feeling a little bleak. After a really great talk with Ben and discovering a new walking path directly behind our house I was feeling much better last week but still couldn't find that fire that makes planning our wedding fun so I granted myself another week off from the planning. I know I have a very limited time left to just not do it when I'm not feeling it but when I have the time I'm making use of it.
I haven't done much with the dress since these blues have been keeping me in a choke hold. That's ok too as we have plenty of time for that and don't need to stress. Nancy did a few alterations that had us a little worried we'd made it too small but I did try it on and it wasn't too small at all. It was kind of perfect. I'm so glad to have her leadership and guidance for this project. She really has done so much of the work to pull this together and I just can't thank her enough.
This week I'm struggling with fitness. Over the last two years I've made some real progress on my fitness goals so I wouldn't have the stress of that while planning a wedding and making a dress but the thing with fitness is that its not really something you can check off your list once and put it behind you. Its a lifestyle change and this winter has made me feel like hibernating and as a result I've gained back about 10lbs. This doubles the weight I want to lose to get to my goal and that has frustrated me and has made me irritated with myself. I know it is because its winter and I'm still eating like I'm walking 5 miles a day but I'm not. I need to pump the breaks on cutting loose and get back to where I exercise a little bit every day. I sleep better. I feel better. It puts me in a better mood. It makes me feel GOOD. Why is it that something that makes all those things happen is so hard to get myself motivated to do? Because it is easier to stay in bed. It is easier to sack out on the couch with the dog. It is easier to no exercise. Easier but not better. I want better.
The other thing that has been looming over my head is actually getting our guestlist together. The list has been made and refined for a couple months now and I know all I really need to do is to get it into an excel document and start obtaining and adding addresses. I wanted our save the dates to be out by now but I've been slacking hardcore on this list prep thing. I need just need to put on my big girl pants and just f@#$ing tackle it like a boss... Nay.... like the BRIDE BOSS I am!
I still have not received any call backs from the messages I've left to try to arrange my rehearsal dinner so I'm moving on. Look, if I'm calling to book some business for you and you can't find the time or resources to call me back, that questions my confidence in whether or not you're the partner for me. Ergo I'm moving on and my newest idea is one I like the best anyway and just hope that I can make some progress with it so my mind can look forward to how awesome its going to be instead of wondering if I'm just getting my hopes up for nothing.
My next post will contain more dress things. I'm starting to feel like we are getting back on track.
<3 The Future Mrs. Luce
Week 7
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