The Fiasco Begins
I slept soundly the Friday night before my wedding... as soundly as one who is so excited she could burst... I woke up at one point and was lulled back to sleep by the rain. Up on the hill my father-in-law to be was also awake listening to the rain... and the wind... and the tents we had erected blowing over... The breaking glass of bistro style light bulbs and poles hitting various obstacles as they flew free from the solid structure that once was didn't lull him back to sleep...
Upon cresting the driveway I noticed two things simultaneously. 1. Everyone staying there was outside.2. There were two less tent peaks than when I left on Friday night... The wind and rain overnight had blown over 3 of our 5 tents. Lights broke. Poles broke. Shit began hitting the fan. Amy ran toward me waving her arms and saying "Nothing to see here! Everything is fine! Happy Wedding Day!" God Bless my new sister. I called both my Dads and my brother relating the bad news and asked if they could drop what they were doing and come help put everything back together.
I slipped inside the house feeling dazed and numb. I sat down at the computer to print off my "guides" and as I waited for it to boot up I realized that I wasn't freaking out. This was the moment I realized that I really had let go of all my expectations and was just going to do as the day demanded. I finished my printing, took a deep breath, and told myself to keep as calm as I wasn't that moment and Amy would be right. The only thing that could ruin my day is my attitude toward everything going down. I was determined to be lighthearted about whatever was thrown my way.
Before I knew it, I had to leave for my hair appointment. My head table wasn't even there anymore, let alone decorated and all the other things on my list were equally unachievable as planned. Time was up. Control was a dream. This bride was on fire.
About then, my photography team showed up lead by the amazing Andrew Foster. I had wanted to have him or his second shooter, Jake, follow me to the hair appointment. Instead they put down their gear and jumped in to help put the tents back up. I will never be able to thank him, his wife Kelly, or Jake enough for what they did for us that day. They worked their butts off doing way more than we asked them to. I'm so grateful they were there. I fled for my hair appointment and completely forgot to ask someone with a camera to come along. This feels especially like an epic fail because I'm a photographer. I have cameras coming out of my pores, but it completely escaped me.
The Pampering
Amy and I must have looked like shell shocked vets fresh off the boat. By the time we got to Xana-du it was raining pretty steadily and things were off to a tumultuous start. As soon as I sat in the chair I felt myself relax. We told the ladies at the salon all about the morning's fiasco and they were awesome in making me feel better. About 20 minutes later, a lady come in for a hair appointment and said to her dresser "I'm SO happy its raining today..." The owner of the salon and my dresser quickly spoke up. "HEY! We have a bride here that needs all the help she can get to have this crap stop before she walks down the aisle!" The lady audibly gasped and apologized profusely. I giggled like a moron and realized that I was kind of having a blast. By all accounts I should have been a puddle of pissed off bridezilla but I just couldn't muster it.After the hair appointment I had approximately 15 minutes to myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "where the hell is my mimosa?!" It was 11am. A Henry's hard soda was a quicker fix and I downed one of those puppies like there would never be another. I went to work putting on my makeup and waiting for my Flower Maidens and Matron of Awesome to arrive.
Between 11am and 12p, my aunt Lynne called asking for my cake topper, 3 different women tried to get my undergarments laced up, I forgot to put on my vail, braided two gorgeous little girls hair, and finally got a mimosa into me. This is a good opportunity to thank Kelly Foster for being one of the most amazing women I have ever met. Before my wedding day, Kelly and I had met one exactly time during our engagement shoot. While we both lived on the Husson campus for a stint, I was never lucky enough to know her then. I asked Kelly to come be Brutus's handler for the day. She excitedly agreed and then ended up going above and beyond her call of duty in every single way. I heard later that Kelly decorated our head table, gathered my dress and garments and brought them from the hill to my house. A key detail that had completely escaped me in all of the chaos until I was ready to step into the dress. She was there at every turn when I thought things were on the verge of blowing apart. She did so many little things that I can't even list them all here but needless to say, so much of my day was awesome because of her. Just before I was to make my way up the path I realized that my dress was caught on my undergarment thanks to all the car sitting I had just done. I was trying to (tastefully) hike my dress up and fix it while Kelly looked on. In the midst of this I tried to convey how absolutely grateful I was to have her there, she said, "No worries. You'd do the same for me. Now would you like me to get up in there and fix that for you?" I love that girl. She was a gift that day and I am so glad that she is in my life.
First Look
By Noon I was so ready to see my Groom. We had planned to meet at the house for our first look and then spend the rest of the day together. I got to sneak up on him and some how Andrew caught the whole thing in such a way that you would never have known how wet and rainy it was. After the first look and pictures with our families, we hit the road for a little quality time with our photography team.
By 2:10 we headed up to the hill until I realized I forgot the marriage license at the house. We went back to retrieve it and the forgotten veggie burgers when it also dawned on me that our Kel-Mat Gourmet sandwiches were supposed to be picked up no later than 2p. I called and got no answer. This wasn't the only food that never made it. Homemade salsa, homemade Caesar Salad Dressing, bruschetta salad, and more was left in the fridge... in Greenville.... In all fairness I asked them to stop what they were doing and come help with tents. I assume they were packing food when my call came in....
The Wedding
The plan was to walk from the garden at the base of the hill up to the lawn where I would meet my Dads and they would give me away. To coordinate this I had printed off the lyrics to the song I was walking in to and gave it to Daria, my brother's girlfriend of 5 years. Her unhappy task was to tell the wedding party when they were supposed to make their way from the lawn to the ceremony spot. I worked it out so the marks were flexible and I could make up any difference with my pace so that I could enter at a particular crescendo in the song. I had thought of everything... except that it would probably be a good idea to play Daria the song... not just print off lyrics to it. It was an obscure song that not many people know and wouldn't immediately recognize as it started playing. As a result it started and she had no idea. By the time I got to the top of the hill I anticipated the rest of the wedding party would be in their spots. When I reached the archway though, everyone was still standing there on the lawn... I could see a flustered Daria shuffling through the papers of the lyrics trying so hard to get things on track. I called from the lawn "JUST GO. Everyone JUST GO" and go they did. I only missed my mark by a few seconds and while I don't think the moment translated the way I dreamed it no longer mattered. I felt so badly I biffed it and as a result made Daria feel like she had let me down. She absolutely hadn't. She tried to do exactly what I asked her to and in the chaos I set her up to fail. One tremendous benefit to being the bride, though, is that everyone forgives you for being a flake not matter how hard your hurricane blows them over.
Once we were standing in front of Norma in front of all of our family and friends that came to celebrate with us I felt like all that had gone wrong melted away. This was the one part of the wedding that I didn't feel needed any planning once the vows were written. We knew early on that we would both be overwhelmed so we wanted to make sure we didn't have to memorize or read anything. We wanted to write our own sentiments that Aunt Norma could just walk us through by having us repeat after her. I'm glad we did this because it allowed us both to focus on each other.
Our vows were part an homage to a few of our favorite songs and the sentiments we want to hold throughout our marriage. These were the things we thought would remind us of the relationship we aspire to. We both know that relationships and marriage is something you work at. You won't always get it right and it won't always be romance and glitter but if we vow to be partners in the world then we can take on anything that is thrown at us. We wrote the vows months in advance and never altered them. In the moment we spoke our vows I realized that the day was always meant to turn out just the way it did. We had included a line from Led Zeppelin's "Thank You" that says "...to love even if the sun refused to shine." In so many ways this tiny sign from the universe reminded me that I was in the right place at the right time.
I remember stepping onto the dance floor and taking Ben's hand and seeing all the kids and Brutus to our right and Amy and Cody to our left. It was the most perfect moment of the day thus far because I had never imagined it quite that way. All the plans for where the ceremony was going to take place had been thwarted by the rain and as a result I hadn't envisioned it in its final form. It was nice little surprise.
Looking at Ben melted my every nerve. Love was written all over his face. If I ever had any doubts about how he felt about me, they were erased by the look in his eyes.
When the ceremony was over I felt a huge sense of release. I wanted just a few minutes alone with Ben and after we went through the receiving line to greet everyone that had come from far and wide to celebrate with us, we retreated into the house for a few minutes to regroup. This part is really kind of a blur. I felt pulled in 100 directions to visit with people I loved and had come from so far but somehow I didn't get a chance. Every conversation felt like I was rushing away and not devoting enough attention to the people I was so excited to have there. This feeling stuck with me for weeks after the wedding but everyone was so gracious and awesome in making us feel loved even when we couldn't show them the attention they deserved.
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| Amber, one of my oldest friends from high school, and her boyfriend Jeff were the lucky catchers of the garter and bouquet. Jeff and our little cousin Kinsley were both going after the garter and sort of caught it at the same time... She got a whole bouquet of Nancy's beautiful gladiolas so she was happy in the end. |
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| Aunt Sherry serenaded us with "Love Song" by Miranda Lambert. She is so talented and we were so honored to have her sing to us. She was awesome. |
The Aftermath
This is where the pictures ended. The rest of the night was spent dancing to the band who ROCKED THE HOUSE! The Dime Store Heros were incredible and played in the tiny space they were dealt with and made the rest of the night lively and fun. At one point I remember seeing my Mom, my Dad, my Stepdad, Grandmother, brother and Aunt on the dance floor just rockin' out and my heart swelled to a size that would rival a hot air balloon.Just as the band was about to end for the night, I saw my Aunt Laurie sitting quietly at a table. For anyone who knows her would agree that "quiet" wouldn't be the first word to jump to mind to describe her. Our wedding was a hard day for her though. August 12th is her wedding anniversary and August 13th is her husband's birthday. In June of this year he passed away. This was the first anniversary and birthday in almost 30 years that she didn't have him by her side. When we set our date I asked him if he minded if we had it on his birthday. He excitedly agreed and I promised there would be a birthday cake there with his name on it. When our wedding day came around one thing I hadn't forgotten to do was to get that cake. Our awesome neighbor Sherry works at the bakery and wrote a personal message on it for us. When I went up Saturday morning I slipped it into the fridge where it stayed safely tucked away through so much chaos. When my aunt caught my eye I went over to try to convince her to dance with us and, understandably, she just wasn't in the mood for dancing. I asked her "has anyone brought you the cake yet?" She told me she had a piece of our delicious wedding cake and began praising how awesome of a job my other Aunt, Lynne, did in making it. I said "no no no, not that cake... " and ran off to fetch it.
When I came back with it, I sat it in front of her and we both started to cry. I know we were both thinking that my uncle and my cousin (who lives in Alaska and was 7 months pregnant with her first child) should be there and it just wasn't the same without them. In the mean time, Nancy, unbeknownst to me or my Aunt, went and got a bunch of forks as well as my parents, brother, Ben, and his family and brought them over to us. We all laughed as we started to just dig into the cake whole. It was the most amazing moment of the day. It was the moment when I remembered that my family is the best ever and that we all come together when it matters most. It also made me realize how special, observant, and thoughtful my mother-in-law is. This was my favorite moment and I wish we had gotten a picture for me to include here.
When we were all stuffed and freshly sugared we all headed back onto the dance floor for the band's last two songs.. my Aunt included. We finished the night off in style and by the time we climbed into the back seat and my stepdad drove us home I snuggled into Ben's arms and breathed him in. By all accounts it could have been a horrendous day. It could have been a day that proved I suck at wedding planning. Instead it was a day that proved that I made the right choice in picking Ben to be my husband.
The End
Have you ever felt like an Olympian? Maybe you have and don't know it. Its that feeling at Christmas when you spend so much time decorating, planning, and preparing and then it is over in a flash. Its when you spend years training that culminates in a 30 second glory or fail moment. Depression after the olympic games is somewhat common among athletes. I suspect if anyone polled brides, similar tales of woe and regret would be prevalent. I think this is human nature. When you put so much into something, you feel its loss when its over.
We didn't leave for our honeymoon for about a month, and for the first few weeks, post nuptials, I had a hard case of the "wedding is over blues." I couldn't shake a feeling that I had poor planned the biggest event in our lives thus far. I strode in on the process like I was a wedding planning boss and when it was over I felt like a defeated boss at the end of a video game I should have won. Ben had a completely different perspective. He pointed out that so many people came together to help us pull it off and he had only good memories of the day. For him it wasn't complicated. We got to see that everyone around us loves us enough to endure all that happened and still come out laughing and creating a wedding experience that we both will remember as long as we live.
This wedding was about the people. It was about our parents. It was about Nancy and I coming together to design and plan a dress that she executed so beautifully and professionally. It was about calling her in a panic as I'm putting on my dress and asking her to come help me because, despite their best efforts, no one else could manage to lace me up. It was about my Dads coming together and giving me away. It was about having a jello shot with grandmothers and reminding a favorite aunt how she isn't alone in her grief and loss. It was about having everyone we love all in one place celebrating the joining of our families.
Thank you for following this journey with me. From concept to completion this project exceeded my expectations and surprised me so many times along the way. I am a happily married woman now. I have love in my heart and a good man by my side. A perfectly executed plan wouldn't have changed that a single bit.
<3 Mrs. Luce
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