The Fiance

The sewing has begun! In the Phase 2 post coming soon I'll share pictures and details on how it is all coming together but this week I wanted to talk about the man that is the reason all of this dress madness is happening. 

I'm not typically one to gush about my man but I am going to take this opportunity to do just that and disguise it as an introduction to the one that is making me a Luce woman...

I met Ben in August of 2007. At the time I wasn't looking for a relationship. I had just gotten out of one and was about to graduate college and  was a finalist for an International Radio and Television Society Fellowship in New York City. I had big plans for 3 months in NYC and settling down was the last thing on my mind. I love the process of meeting new people though and perused a dating site that I won't name because it is good for he and I to be the only ones that know that detail of our relationship. I will tell you it wasn't Tinder as that hadn't been invented yet... 

Engagement Shot by Andrew Foster

I don't know if everyone does this, but from a pretty young age I knew what I was looking for in the "man of my dreams." I even went so far as to name this theoretical dream man "Adam." I knew he would have dark hair, light eyes, and would wear a leather jacket. I can't remember exactly where the jacket detail came from but I think it came from a dream I had about meeting him for the first time in a dorm room. It was always kind of a joke between me and my close friends and there are many entries in old journals about my search for him. As I looked at the profile pics on the dating site I came across a dark haired, green-eyed guy standing on a BART platform in San Francisco. He was a dead ringer for "Adam" and how I imagined him. I saw this handsome guy was from California and thought "no harm in starting a conversation with a guy so far away because it can't land me in a relationship when I'm just exploring what's out there, right?!" I sent him a message and we began to chat regularly. 

In one of our first conversations he mentioned that he was about to end his service in the Air Force and would be leaving California to return to his home state.... of Maine... I thought he was kidding... what are the odds? We continued to chat and realized we had so much in common. When his service was up he drove home from California with his Dad and would call me at night and tell me about their road trip. I was slowly falling madly in love with him and I had never even met him. I knew how dangerous that was and kept dismissing it. 

When he was finally back in Maine and was settling back into life as a civilian we agreed to meet. We tried to meet 3 different times but each time something came up and he had to cancel at the last minute. I was convinced he just wasn't interested but somehow he convinced me to meet a 4th time. In October 2007 we met in the parking lot of the Bangor Cinemas. He stepped out of his car wearing a leather jacket and I about peed myself. There were so many coincidences I just couldn't ignore anymore.By January 2008 we were officially a couple and by that May we were living together. 

I wasn't ultimately accepted to the IRTS Fellowship and when I found out I wasn't as devastated as I thought I would be. I felt, instead, like everything was happening just the way it should. Moving to a big city had always been my dream and what I thought I was working towards but when I met Ben and fell in love with him, my world view began to change. 

Since then I like to say we have been growing up together because I feel like we have (more or less) become the adults we will be for the rest of our lives.  We bought a house in 2013 and adopted our first dog together in 2014. When we get married in August I will feel 100% sure that I'm marrying the man I was meant for. 

He is everything I could ever want in a partner. He makes me feel great about myself. He treats me with respect, kindness, and support. He makes me laugh... hard... all the time. He works hard and has more patience than anyone I've ever known. He is curious and is always finding new things to tell me about because he reads all the time. He is almost always level headed. It takes a lot to make him angry and when we do have arguments he doesn't put me down or try to make me feel inferior. He would do just about anything I asked of him and he never complains about anything. When new people come to our house he likes to give them a tour and point out all of the photographs I've taken and brags about how great of a job he thinks I've done to decorate and make our home beautiful. I feel so lucky that we found each other. 

He has made me feel like a part of his family for years and to make it official is the best honor I've ever received. I can't wait to grow old together. He's my best friend and I know my life is better than the life I dreamed about because he's in it. Now all I want is to build a house on Bigelow Hill and spend the rest of our days creating happiness for each other. I love him with all my heart and when I get to call myself his wife I'll take so much pride in my new name with every signature I write. 

<3 The Future Mrs. Luce

Week 4

Phase 1- Prep Squad

You have the perfect design and you've scoured the internet for your pattern. You've gathered the extras, procured a dress form, and enlisted your helpers. You're officially itching to start stitching (terrible puns are sure to be plentiful throughout this whole blog... You're welcome and I'm sorry...)! 

Before you can start stitching though there are a couple more things to complete in Phase 1. 

Take your Measurements
Nancy recommended measuring me in quarters just in case my body is not perfectly symmetrical. If you assume you are symmetrical and turn out to be delusional then your seams may fall in weird places and you'll get a weird fit.

Here are the measurements you should take:

• Right and Left Breast
• Right and Left Hip
• Top of the Shoulder to the floor
• Hip to floor
• Torso Measurement- back of the neck down to the hipline

To take your measurements, you'll want to measure from the side through to the fullest part of the hip or breast to get the best fit. For the breast measurements, begin at the top of your ribs and measure out to the fullest part of your breast. Repeat for the other side. For the hip, start at the fullest part of your hip and measure out to the fullest part of your belly/pelvis.

NOTE: Do not associate these numbers with your self worth. These numbers are simply tools to help you build your dress. They are NOT a statement of your beauty, self worth, or how you should feel about yourself. If you want a different body to work with, start years in advance and work at it. For me, my weight loss journey started in 2013 and actually taught me a lot about how to love myself and how to be a better partner to the man who stuck by me through all the different phases my body has gone through. He's made me feel beautiful and sexy at all stages and I love him for that. I love him for so much but how he supported me to help me get to my goals was one of the reasons I knew we were going to grow old together.

The design of my dress doesn't have much of a train but it does go all the way to the ground so my measurements reflect that. The "shoulder and hip to the floor" measurements are meant to confirm a ballpark of where the hem should fall. If you're making a shorter dress or a longer train you can alter the floor measurements to where you want the hem to land. I recommend cutting your material longer than you will want the hem to fall just so you have plenty to work with. Once the dress is further along I'll have a better idea of how to explain how the whole bottom comes together. Right now these are my "conceptual" measurements.

Make Friends with Your Dress Form
The form I'm using allows for adjustments so that you can set the form to your size. I have to give Gwen a big thank you again for letting us borrow this form because it really is ideal for this project. She is awesome and an honorary fairy-godmother to this wedding and I am so grateful to her for her willingness to help.

If yours isn't adjustable, you'll have to get a form that is already set to your size. I would assume that it can be done without specific sizing and using the pattern as a guide but I don't recommend this because it introduces a great opportunity for things to go off the rails. This is your wedding dress after all so it is worth the time and effort to get a form that is accurate to your body size.


 
Introduce your Pattern to your Form
I took a day at work and cut out pieces on my lunch break. It was very easy but the paper is super thin and tears easily. Patience is key to this but if you don't feel like scissors have ever been your friend I recommend getting a very very sharp Exacto knife and foam-core board. This is essentially allow you to lay the pattern on the foam board and tracing the pieces to cut out.

Once all the pieces are cut out, I recommend keeping the extra paper so you can sketch out other things you'll add to the dress. In my case I'm using some of the extra to draw out the pattern of how the leafy vines will crawl up the dress. Also, if you make a mistake having all the extra handy to repair it will help keep this project stress-free.

Once the pattern is pinned onto the dress you can make any needed adjustments. For example, the pattern I got had "Petite" on it and we were worried that we were going to have to do some splicing to get it to be the right torso length. This would have been so much easier once the form had the pieces pinned to them. We ended up not needing to do this because the pattern had fold lines on where to adjust if I were petite... I am, in fact, not petite... not even a little.


PHASE 1 COMPLETE! BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!

Phase 2 promises to bring some cutting of the material or at least tracing of the pattern onto the material and then SEWING BEGINS!!!! Stay tuned :)

<3 The Future Mrs. Luce
Week 3

The Recipe

Setting out to make your own wedding dress is a pretty big undertaking and, to be very honest, if I didn't have a partner in crime, I'd have no idea where to even start. I want to know though. What ARE the steps to making your own wedding gown?

Throughout my journey of turning this dream into a reality I'll keep updating this "Recipe" so that by the time I'm done, every step we took will be baked into this blog. Below is how we are getting started. Updates to follow :)

Ingredients:
1. Design or Idea
2. 1 Pattern for your design or idea
3. 1 Dress Form
4. 1 Seamstress, Amazing Future Mother-in-Law, or Sewing Machine
5. Yards of Material as determined by your pattern
6. Non-sentimental Extras: Zippers, decals, boobie pads etc.
7. Sentimental Extras: Mom's wedding dresses, something old, new, borrowed, blue
8. Helpers or Elves

9. Fitness (optional)
10. Expectation Management (optional)


1. Design or Idea
I took a day and went with my Mom and my future Mother-in-Law (Nancy) to try on dresses. Before this I had kind of a general idea of things I liked and even had something in mind that I was hoping to find. After perusing the racks I tried one on that I thought would be the winner and then I saw the "fairy princess dress." This is the dress I wanted mine to be based on as soon as I saw it. Nancy even snapped the perfect picture of the moment I looked at myself in the mirror with it on for the first time. The expression on my face says it all... That was the winner.

2. Dress Pattern

After determining the winner we had to find a dress pattern that somewhat resembled the general shape of what we were going for. This turned out to be a our first challenge. I spent many days scouring the internet for something that had the shape I was looking for. I finally came across a pink nightmare that, with minor alterations, would work perfectly. The pattern provides the exact shape for the underpiece of my dress. The overlay of my dress will be made of a really soft tulle that will mask the lace transition shown in the pattern and give it the fitted look through the hips and seamlessly flow into the rest of the gown. This overlay will also provide the straps that are simply an extension of the tulle tied in a knot. Super simple but extremely beautiful.

3.  Dress Form
If you have chosen the seamstress route, she probably has the form and you won't need to worry about this but if you're DIYing it then this is really important. After putting a plea on Facebook for a form that we could use for a few months, Nancy's roommate from college, Gwen, offered us the use of hers that adjusts so changing sizes would be no sweat. You can also find these online but if you're not planning on making any other dresses, it is really helpful to have someone amazingly kind offer to lend you one. Thank you Gwen!!

4. Seamstress, Amazing Future Mother-in-Law, or Sewing Machine

Me and Nancy

This ingredient is the most important one. Nancy is my Wedding Gown Guru for this project. She is awesome for even agreeing to take this on with me and I can't tell you how grateful I am to have her in my life.... and also for raising an amazing man that I get to grow old with. It seems a little agregious to imply in my ingredients list that you could just replace her with a measly sewing machine and I, in fact, don't think that is possible. If you have the knowledge of how to sew and use a pattern though, you have a Nancy in your own head and that's pretty cool. All the power to you and your sewing machine. For me though, I wouldn't trade her for a factory or anything else. She is going to teach me how to fish.. and by fish I mean make a wedding dress and that's quite a bit more complicated I think. Nonetheless, its the thought that counts and I hope one day I can help someone make something so special like she is doing for me.

5. Material
There is so much fabric to choose from! With an August wedding in mind I knew I wanted something that would be light and airy but still firm enough to give me the shape of the dress that I tried on. I went with a cotton blend for the underneath and a soft tulle for the overlay. Neither of these were "bridal" fabric specifically but they do have that kind of thing available but it tends to be pricier. This part of the recipe is all about personal preference. I recommend going to a fabric place so you can touch it and see how the fabric all looks together. When it comes time to actually purchase the fabric I recommend checking it out online. I found the exact fabric I found in the store for almost half the cost on the store's website. This is a great way to save some money without sacrificing anything at all!

6.  Extra Tidbits
After a quick online search Nancy was able to find the leaf decals from the original dress I tried on and they were not very expensive at all. Other than that we have not purchased any of these other extra's yet but, again, this is where the internet will be your bestie. I recommend searching online outlets first for what you're looking for that will bring your design to life.

7.  Sentimental Tidbits

Mom and Me

I wasn't crazy about the applique in the center of the dress I tried on. I wanted to something a little less blingy and a little more organic. This was an excellent opportunity to incorporate pieces of my Mom's wedding dress. Her dress has a beautiful embroidery applique made of crawling flowers that I plan to disassemble and then reorient onto my dress. I think this will give the dress a gorgeous sentimental uniqueness that I wouldn't have been able to do without the opportunity to make my own dress. I'm looking forward to this part most of all and I will dish on all the details in a blog post once we get to this step.

8.  Helpers and Elves
I'm not sure how one entices elves to be helpers in a project like this but I've heard cream goes a long way in attracting them. Luckily I have a few human helpers that are going to assist with the sewing on of the little leaf decals and other such steps. My Mom, Nancy, Aunt Laurie, and others are going to be called on to help with this. I plan to make it sort of like a book club where we have snacks and drinks and spend the day chatting and sewing. I envision this as a sort of throwback to the kind of get-togethers that made Tupperware and Pampered Chef parties so exciting when I was a kid.

9. Fitness
Over the past 2 years I've made a considerable effort to get my weight under control. This is something I've struggled with my whole life but I feel like I've made some seriously awesome improvements. I have 15 more pounds to lose to reach my goal I set two years ago and I am absolutely confident that it won't add stress to this dress making process. I think that something that could easily ruin a project like this so if fitness is in your plan I recommend making that the first step in your plan so you have plenty of time to get your body into the shape you want it for the dress you want. If you try to do it while you're making the dress you run the risk of being hangry and I think that is the cause of at least 46% of bridezillas.Remember... If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong...

10. Expectation Management
Want a Vera Wang look? Then shell out the however hundreds of thousands of dollars Vera asks for because she's a professional and if you expect to look like a Vera bride then this path probably isn't for you. I have no interest in any of the ideals that those traditional dresses stand for and I am going to feel beautiful in whatever dress I wear and I'm going to be proud to wear it. That's what it's all about. I'm going to look amazing in this dress, no matter what it looks like. Is that conceited? Probably and I don't give a rip because if ever there was a time that I need to look at myself and say " you are f!@#ing gorgeous!" my wedding day is it and no harm can come of me being conceited on that day.

Those are the basics. As we continue I'll be documenting each stage and giving more detail about how we went about each step. 

<3 The Future Mrs. Luce
Week 2

You're MAKING your own WEDDING DRESS?!

I think the one thing you really need to know about me, before embarking on this insane ride, is that I am an extremely sentimental person. I once saved the barf bag from the first plane ride i ever took with with my Dad. I believe that this life we live is what you make it and, for me, it is the making of memories that trumps all else. This desire to sentimentalize everything is part of the reason that I have decided to make my own wedding gown. There are many reasons (of which I will discuss at great length) but the thought of being able to see and document the making of the most important dress I will ever wear tops the list.

When I have shared this with people that ask about our wedding plans I generally get wide-eyed stares of "Are you insane?" They are often quick to clarify that they think it is sweet and adorable but the thick projection that I am a crazy person, or at the very least just haven't thought it through, coats every comment.

I'm not worried though. As with anything in life, happiness depends on how you handle the day. This gown is going to be gorgeous but if it doesn't turn out exactly as it begins in my head, that's ok. The motto of this wedding is "if you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong." There is no possibility of this dress not turning out to be absolutely beautiful and I'm looking forward to what it looks like in the end but if it has flaws I feel like that adds to the sentimental value of it all. No one will have a dress exactly like mine. No stranger is going to make me strip down and poke and prod me and make me feel like I'm not adequate as a bride like I've experienced in fitting sessions when I was a bridesmaid. This whole thing is going to be deeply personal and private. Not a single stranger will see me in this dress before my loved ones see me in it. I love the entire idea of this and being excited takes the wind out of the sails of stress.

This is all possible because my key ingredient in this dress recipe is my future Mother-in-Law, Nancy. She is an extraordinary, creative, and talented person when it comes to so many things including sewing. She knows the technical steps of the project and has all the skills and abilities to keep us on track. Without her, I wouldn't even know where to start. This is a huge thing to ask and I realize that but over the past 8 years I have been so lucky to have her as a friend. She is absolutely incredible and no matter how the dress turns out, I'll have the entire process to look back on. I wouldn't want to do this any other way and I hope that as we proceed through the process any reservations or worries she has will disappear because the whole point is for us to be able to do this awesome thing together. I honestly can not conceive of any way that the dress won't turn out to be the dress of my dreams but even if it does that really is not the point. Having a beautiful handmade dress at the end of this is just a bonus.Getting to make it from scratch with a woman I admire, love, and can't wait to call family is the point and what I'm looking forward to most.... and when anyone tells me on my wedding day that I am a beautiful bride I can brag about her and how awesome it was to make the dress with her.

So yes, I am making my own wedding dress and it is going to be freaking awesome! This blog is going to document the whole process and the rest of the wedding planning I'll be doing from now until August. I simply can not wait!

<3 The Future Mrs. Luce
Week 1